Monday, March 30, 2009

My perfect Alibi

I've been doing a crash course on CSI, catching up since Season 1. I've got to admit that I may have OD-ed on it. However that is not the reason for the title I have chosen for this post. 

As sleep eludes me once again, I thought about how my work used to be was my perfect alibi. I could always place blame on it. I recalled those countless nights I spent in the office, pouring my entire self into my work and feeling that slight twinge of guilt for not having spent time with my parents and silently cursing my work for leaving me with so little time. 

However I've got to admit that its not only just the work that I do not take time to be with them. I do know that they may not be here for much longer. We are only human and life is that fragile. This could be my last post for all I know or in a second I could be drawing my last breath. However I am stumped cos whenever I try to do something nice for them, and believe me I do try, I always get my efforts stuffed right back into my face. Be it a trip I took time to plan for them, or simply taking them out to dinner. Its so emotionally draining and I am already exhausted from trying to keep them happy. It sounds stupid really but I feel as though I am forking out good money to get myself upset. 
So much so...I do not know what to do anymore. 

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