Behind closed doors

You asked me today if I did not care about the both of you anymore. I felt a prick of conscience in that moment. I searched but could not find the right words, they hung at the tip my tongue yet they were not forthcoming, afterall I knew you would not understand. And I just cannot say it straight, not without having tears well up in my eyes.

This is the problem, the only way I know how to deal with this spiderweb of problems is to shut it out, close the door behind me and throw away the key. I hate it that the only way I know how to deal with this is to think "watever" and keep walking.

Because any other way, I will continue to be ensnared within, thrashing about in vain...constantly berating myself and asking why.

Why is it that...I cannot save you, why is it that I can only watch as you slowly sink deeper into the quicksand. Why can't you see for yourself, that the one most hurt is yourself?

I hate it but I cannot save you...I cannot solve your problems...I simply do not know how.